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"Top Gun-shy Bush:" America's #1 Chicken Hawk Takes to the Skies
by The Angry Liberal
We interrupt our regularly scheduled Thursday night program to bring you the following nauseatingly shameless photo op from that draft-dodgin' chicken hawk and your nearly elected president, George W. Bush.
(Fade in the military band playing Hail to the Hypocrite.)
In case you missed Bush's landing on the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln last Thursday, it went kind of like this: Bush had urgent business aboard this particular aircraft carrier. Apparently, the crew aboard her had not heard that the war was over (over in the "Some of you can go home after this speech" sense, not in the "United States has declared the war over and therefore has to abide by the Geneva Conventions and stop trying to kill former adversaries" sense), and, with ship-to-shore communications being so unreliable, somebody had to tell them in person. Of course, the carrier was coming from the Persian Gulf and was headed to San Diego, but the president would spare no taxpayers' expense delivering that message. The heroic Bush spang into action, flying photo-op supplies to the ship, including a giant banner to put up behind the president that said, "Mission Accomplished." I think most of the crew of the USS Abraham Lincoln can read, so the banner really should have been enough. But Bush was dissatisfied. Maybe some of the carrier's crew had not renewed their eyeglass prescriptions and couldn't see the banner clearly. Bush just couldn't take the chance that the crew could reach San Diego without knowing that the war was, well, sort of mostly over. He had to reach that ship! But how? After being told that space shuttle fleet was currently grounded, and that even if it wasn't, landing one on the USS Abe would require too much prep time to make the weekend news cycle, Bush settled on one of them aircraft that zooms onto the deck real quick and grabs one of them wires stretched across the top of the boat. Best of all, by posing as the co-pilot on this aircraft, Bush could finally put to use the pilot's skills that taxpayers sprang for when they gave him a jet to play with while he was hiding from the Vietnam War in the Texas Air National Guard.
It's good to be commander-in-chief. You get to do things like use an entire aircraft carrier for a photo op and fly Navy planes even after your own flight status was revoked for refusing to take the yearly physical, with its mandatory drug test. But why stop there? Why not just pick some third-rate dictator, scare everybody with a phony story about how this dictator threatens the United States, waste $80 billion borrowed from our children, kill 128 American soldiers and thousands of Iraqi soldiers and civilians, splinter the European community and the United Nations, drive the price of oil sky-high, scare half a million jobs out of the U.S. economy, make the United States the most unpopular nation on the face of the earth, and then take your photo op? Who could stop you? After all, you're commander-in-freakin'-chief.
So there you have it. The Bush military record is sketchy to say the least, but it smells of favoritism, draft-dodging, desertion, illegal drug use, and generally disgraceful behavior. If you want more details, go to the many links at the bottom of this page. The very idea that this clown would step foot on a warship with America's real heroes for a taxpayer-funded campaign commercial makes my stomach churn. Thank God that America's servicemen and women take their duties more seriously than their commander-in-chief did when he hid in the Texas Air National Guard.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program after a word from our sponsor, Dramamine . . .
Here are the Bush War Record Links:
http://www.buzzflash.com/contributors/03/03/05_bush.html
http://www.tompaine.com/feature.cfm/ID/3671
http://www.hereinreality.com/commander.html
http://www.thedubyareport.com/milserv.html
http://www.motherjones.com/news/outfront/2003/02/ma_217_01.html
Write The Angry Liberal at: thebigcheese@theangryliberal.com. © 2002, The Angry Liberal
