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Thanks for the Memories, George: What Eight Years of Bush Will Do to a Country (Paperback) (Bitter Humor)
By Mike Loew of the Onion, Released on May 5, 2009

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Think of this volume as a heartwarming scrapbook of the Bush years. It’s been a very important time in all of our lives that we should cherish. You can fold your newspaper clippings from 9/11 into this book, or appliqué your old keys to your home in New Orleans that still hasn’t been repaired. This book is the perfect place to display a photograph of your husband who hasn’t come back from Iraq yet. How about a decorative border made from your 401(k) statements, showing a steadily dropping balance? A receipt from a gas station when it cost half as much to fill up your tank can make for an attractive bookmark. Don’t forget to include a bit of duct tape and plastic wrap from your home protection kit against anthrax. Memories really are important.

This book collects all the low points, as well as the abysmal points, of the last eight years. We must take the time to reflect upon the treaties that have been broken, the invasions that have been launched, the people who have been tortured, the globe that has been warmed, and the elections that have been stolen. Let us sail back through the memories, floating on the slapping waves of corruption that Bush left in his oily wake. It’s a salty, sloppy ride, but take heart. It is crucially important that we remember George W. Bush very clearly. The more you look at Bush’s record, the more you realize how much we’ve lost. And Bush tried so hard to make us forget what it was that we had lost in the first place. The Iraq War is still a rotting albatross around our neck, but Bush’s “surge” was touted as a way to make us not mind the smell so much. It’s hard to think back to a time before this stinking corpse was thrown over our shoulders, we’ve all grown so used to it. But when you remember that distant moment in the past, you realize what Bush has taken from you, and you get angry. You want to bring back the good old days, when this nation -wasn’t at war, torturing prisoners, spying on Americans, and bombing the shit out of poor village..."

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