I had never heard of Rafael Yglesias nor his autobiographical memoir "A Happy Marriage," his most recent book, until listening to Terry Gross' recent interview with him on NPR's Fresh Air. I had never heard anyone speak so articulately about marriage -- and the story that unfolded of his marriage intrigued me so much that I immediately read his book.

His autobiographical "novel" alternates between the early days of the 50 year old Enrique's relationship with his wife -- 29 years earlier -- and the present imminent death of Margaret as a result of bladder cancer.

Yglesias captures the crazy euphoria and insecurity of new found love in their early days, the struggles of their middle years together when raising children, and then the complexity of a mature marriage when faced with the permanent loss of one of his spouse.

My own husband asked, "Don't you find the book depressing?" He had, in fact, seen me crying several times while reading the book. The book is sad, yes. But not depressing at all to me. In fact, the love between Enrique and Margaret is uplifting, a wonderful testament to the love that is capable between two people who have lived together for a long time, notwithstanding the many moments of desiring to strangle the other. And the perspective of death only makes the moments of life that much more vibrant and fulfilling.

Yglesias doesn't sentimentalize his relationship--he reveals the full range of emotions a husband and wife experience--anger, joy, impatience, fear, incredulity, kindness and much more.

I've been married for 30 years and this book often made me reflect about the early years of my marriage and the present. It may not have been Yglesias' intent, but it helped me appreciate the complexity of a long, rich marriage.

Anyone who is married or has been married -- or even been in a long-term relationship -- will find "A Happy Marriage" engaging, artful, eloquent emotional and reaffirming.

Reviewed by Terry Soto, BuzzFlash.com


From Publishers Weekly:

Yglesias (Fearless) delivers his first novel in 13 years, an autobiographical and devastatingly raw appraisal of a nearly 30-year marriage. As the novel opens in 1975, 21-year-old Enrique Sabas, a high school–dropout literary wunderkind, has just met Margaret Cohen, a vivacious, beautiful budding graphic designer who will become the love of his life. Enrique and Margaret's romantic and sexual misadventures during the first awkward weeks of their courtship are interspersed with scenes from the couple's three decades together before Margaret succumbs to cancer: raising children, losing a parent, the temptation of an easy affair. Margaret's physical decline and Enrique's acknowledgment of guilt, inadequacy and a selfish desire to postpone his loss are described in blunt, heart-wrenching detail, and Enrique's ongoing struggles to define the nature of masculinity, the significance of art and the value of marriage add a philosophical layer to the domestic snapshots. Although the couple's privileged lifestyle can get in the way of the reader-character bond, the texture of their marriage and the pain of their loss will be familiar to anyone who has shared a long-term relationship.

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