You Don't Know Jack, Abramoff

by Tony Peyser

He’s the lobbyist scoundrel
Who just won’t go away
And now distances himself
From ex-pal Tom DeLay.

He had some Indian clients
Who now want to see him hung
The proverbial white man
Who speaks with a forked tongue.

Jack screwed tribes out of millions
And called them names, too,
And yet Mr. Abramoff
Is an Orthodox Jew.

(Lest any reader out there
Get all angry and shrewish
Please give it a rest because
I happen to be Jewish.)

You can call me crazy but
I just do not believe a
Guy gets a break because
He builds a yeshiva.

Abramoff’s done stuff like this
But so did, by the way,
Enron thief Andy Fastow
Who worked closely with Ken Lay.

These fellows wrongdoings
Are too vast to catalogue
Supporters later pointed out
How they went to synagogue.

I don’t think for any faith
That crooks deserve salvation
Just because they coughed up
A hefty religious donation.

Exercise is well and good
But so is moral fitness
Which Jack and Andy sorely lack
As Bill Frist is my witness.

PREVIOUS POEM -->

* * *

Tony Peyser provides poems and weekly cartoons for The Santa Monica Mirror and writes the new BuzzFlash column, "Blue State Jukebox." He was also a daily cartoonist for the L.A. Times from 1994 to 1997. You can contact Tony via email at tonypeyser@yahoo.com.

BuzzFlash Cartoons by Tony Peyser are © Tony Peyser.
Contact Tony for reprint permissions.

* * *