With Recruitment Slumping Further, Army Appeals To Patriotism Of Parents

by Tony Peyser

It easily can’t
Be anticipated
But having kids
Is overrated.

Your sex life suffers
So much it’s not funny
They’re always hitting
You up for money.

And down the road
No matter what you say
This means lots less
In your 401-K.

Despite great things
You may have planned
They’ll marry some jerk
Who you can’t stand.

The only good thing
To do with these zeroes
Is find a way
To make them heroes.

Send ‘em to Iraq
To serve and die
Get a folded flag
And a darn good cry.

But then you’ll get
All the last yucks:
Death benefits mean
You’ll receive big bucks.

A dead soldier’s parent
Is a swell to thing to be
Elevated status in
Your community.

You’ve got nothing to lose
And nothing to fear
Just make your ungrateful
Kids sign right here.

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Tony Peyser provides poems and weekly cartoons for The Santa Monica Mirror and writes the new BuzzFlash column, "Blue State Jukebox." He was also a daily cartoonist for the L.A. Times from 1994 to 1997. You can contact Tony via email at tonypeyser@yahoo.com.

BuzzFlash Cartoons by Tony Peyser are © Tony Peyser.
Contact Tony for reprint permissions.

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