Kiss and Cel

by Tony Peyser

An early Bernie Kerik story
That set off a few flares
Happened three years before
We knew about his two affairs.

Several news staffers from
A very deep sleep were thrown
By five New York City cops
Who were looking for a phone.

Not a land-based device
But an especially swell phone
Which, as it so happened,
Was Judith Regan's cel phone.

Media mogul Regan lost it
When she was on a Fox News show
These folks woken up worked at Fox
Where the facts aren't real but faux.

(For those of you keeping score,
The source of some unease is
The well-known Miss Regan was
One of Kerik's main squeezes.)

It's dawned on me that this phone
If someone gave its messages a look
Might've romantically linked Bernie
With Regan who published his book.

So, Kerik wasn't just trying to find
A friend's cel that had gone missing
But also attempting to cover up
Any telling about his kissing.

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Tony Peyser provides poems and weekly cartoons for The Santa Monica Mirror. He was also a daily cartoonist for the L.A. Times from 1994 to 1997. You can contact Tony via email at tonypeyser@yahoo.com.

BuzzFlash Cartoons by Tony Peyser are © Tony Peyser.
Contact Tony for reprint permissions.

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