June 8, 2004
Just How Bizarre Have Things Become? Take This Quiz and Find Out
by Maureen Farrell
1) In April, 2003, the New York Times reported that the Bush administration was planning to establish as many as four permanent military bases in Iraq -- a charge that Donald Rumsfeld flatly denied. [USEmbassy.State.Gov] In May, 2004, author Chalmers Johnson stated that the U.S. is planning to:
a) Keep its promise and not build any permanent military bases in Iraq.
b) Reward Donald Rumsfeld for being so honest and forthright.
c) Build one permanent military base in Baghdad.
d) Build and maintain fourteen military bases in Iraq.
2) According to a report in the Christian Science Monitor, since U.S. forces have occupied Iraq, many of Baghdad's professors, scientists and intellectuals have:
a) Felt a great deal of relief that Saddam Hussein is no longer in power.
b) Enjoyed freedom of speech for the first time.
c) Been executed in a series of carefully planned assassinations.
d) Learned how to do the Macarena.
3) The Village Voice recently reported that President Bush "reversed long-standing U.S. policy, endorsing Israeli sovereignty over parts of the West Bank," just weeks after:
a) Exhaustively studying the history of U.S. policy in the Middle East.
b) Checking with "end times" experts.
c) Falling off his bike.
d) Choking on a pretzel.
4) According to United Press International, military whistle-blower Army Reserve Lt. Jullian Goodrum was kept in a locked psychiatric ward, even though medical staff believed he should be released. Upon his release:
a) The Army apologized.
b) The Army made him immediately return to duty.
c) The Army charged him nearly $6,000.
d) The Army gave him a month’s supply of Zoloft.
5) Chronicling a list of inconsistencies in the Nick Berg story, The Sydney Morning Herald pointed out that the May 11 "live beheading" clip was especially odd, given that:
a) May 11 is a Muslim holy day.
b) Nick Berg's headless body was discovered on May 8.
c) Terrorists already struck on the 11th.
d) It was uploaded from a Web site in Hollywood.
6) A report in the May 18 New Catholic Times cited journalist Wayne Madsen’s observation that "people close to the pope" claim that he has commented on President Bush’s "repeated commitment to Christian beliefs" and "constant references to 'evil doers,' raising the possibility that G.W. Bush may represent":
a) America’s long overdue return to Christian values.
b) The first American leader with a Messianic complex.
c) The antichrist.
d) The defender of all that is good in a world besieged by evil.
7) According to Reuters, "While George W. Bush and Pope John Paul talked peace in the Vatican on Friday, a military aide held a bulky black attach case containing the codes the U.S. president would need in order to":
a) "Launch a nuclear war."
b) "Contact Dick Cheney."
c) "Unlock the box that held the Presidential Medal of Freedom."
d) "Access White House e-mail."
8) During a recent press conference, President Bush said, "I think I met with [Ahmed Chalabi] at the State of the Union and just kind of working through the rope line" but did not have "any extensive conversations with him," yet during a televised interview in February, Bush told Tim Russert that Chalabi:
a) Sat "right here in the Oval Office" to discuss Iraq’s constitution.
b) "Was given millions of U.S. tax dollars by accident."
c) "Sat behind Laura Bush during the State of the Union Address by accident."
d) "Had his photo taken in a rope line, while wearing a black beret."
9) According to a report in Los Angeles Times, since April, 2004, as many as 100 medical specialists, surgeons, and general physicians have been kidnapped in Iraq and, in addition to being beaten tortured and ransomed, have been ordered to:
a) Eat pork.
b) Perform abortions.
c) Leave the country.
d) Watch Jerry Lewis movies.
10) While being interviewed on "Democracy Now," CIA veteran Ray McGovern said that he is "more frightened now than at any time over the last three and a half years that this administration will:"
a) "Invade Syria."
b) "Invade Iran."
c) "Fail to find weapons of mass destruction."
d) "Resort to extra-legal methods to do something to ensure that there are four more years for George Bush."
11) In April 2003, Paul Krugman observed that during the lead up to war, "Some strange things certainly happened" and pointed to a headline on MSNBC's Web site ("White House: Bush Misstated Report on Iraq") which vanished within a matter of hours. [CommonDreams.org] When the Nick Berg story broke, Linda S. Heard pointed out that MSNBC reported that, ‘During his (Berg's) time in Iraq, he struggled with the Arabic language and worked at night on a tower at Abu Ghraib. . . ’ but that MSNBC later:
a) "Removed all references to Nick Berg and Iraq without explaining why."
b) "Removed this reference to Abu Ghraib from its article without explaining why."
c) "Hinted that Nick Berg was a CIA agent without explaining why."
d) "Said that Nick Berg spoke Arabic fluently."
12) A recent Associated Press report declared that, "While Americans are shelling out record prices for fuel, Iraqis pay only about 5 cents a gallon for gasoline," thanks to:
a) "Iraqis finally being in charge of their own oil."
b) "Recovered proceeds from the food for oil program."
c) "Millions of dollars of subsidies bankrolled by American tax payers."
d) "‘5 cent Fridays’ at Iraq’s gas stations."
13) According to Texas Republican Rep. Ron Paul, Dr. Iyad Allawi's Iraqi National Accord is expected to rule Iraq:
a) With an iron fist.
b) In total sovereignty.
c) As an American puppet.
d) Until the Baathists revolt.
14) A Salon.com article asserts that author Gerald Posner recently made allegations which, if true, make it "hard to dismiss the possibility" that:
a) George Bush put a rolled-up sock in his "Mission Accomplished" flight suit.
b) The heads of the Pakistani and Saudi governments knew of (and signed off on) Osama bin Laden’s plot before 9/11.
c) Condoleezza Rice has a crush on G.W. Bush.
d) George H.W. Bush was briefed about J.F.K’s assassination.
15) According to a May 28 report, CNN is:
a) Still being called the ‘Clinton News Network’ by misinformed bloggers.
b) No longer the most trusted name in news.
c) Suing the state of Florida to view a list of voters who might be illegally disenfranchised in 2004.
d) Suing James Earl Jones.
16) According to an article in USA Today, a study of fourteen countries (Belgium, China, Colombia, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Lebanon, Mexico, the Netherlands, Nigeria, Spain, Ukraine and the United States) concludes that the USA has the highest rate of:
a) Literacy.
b) Divorce.
c) Mental illness.
d) Carjackings.
17) During an interview with Larry King, comedian Bill Maher characterized the 2000 election by saying that, "I think everybody last time who thought, ‘Oh, Gore and Bush, you know, Coke and Pepsi,’ realized that a more fitting analogy was:
a) Mutt and Jeff.
b) Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
c) Coke and Osama’s Kool-Aid.
d) Coke and Jesus Juice.
18) A German documentary contends that "U.S. and Taliban officials met secretly in Frankfurt almost a year before the Sept. 11 attacks to discuss terms for":
19) According to a recent BBC report, "Satellite photos of southern Spain reveal features on the ground appearing to match descriptions made by Greek scholar Plato of the fabled utopia [Atlantis]." The BBC report cited Dr. Rainer Kuehne, of the University of Wuppertal in Germany, who drew parallels between "the war between Atlantis and the eastern Mediterranean described in Plato's writings" and "attacks on Egypt, Cyprus and the Levant during the 12th Century BC by mysterious raiders known as:"a) "A return to diplomatic relations between the U.S. and Afghanistan, contingent upon equality for Afghanistan’s women."
b) "Afghanistan to hand over Osama bin Laden."
c) "The most effective way to blur the line between church and state."
d) "Making sure that George Bush looked like a strong and decisive leader."
a) The Karlrovians.
b) The Sea People.
c) The Skull and Bonesmen.
d) The Reptiles.
20) According to an article in the Idaho Observer, North America has been subjected to "dangerous aerosol and electromagnetic operations conducted by the U.S. government under the guise of national security." This project is known as:
a) Operation Tin Foil Hat
b) Operation Crazy Talk
c) Operation Cloverleaf
d) There is no such operation* * *
Answers:
1) d -- "If we plan to return Iraq to the Iraqis, why is the U.S. currently building fourteen permanent bases there?" [NationInstitute.org]
2) c -- "By some counts, as many as 40 of Iraq's leading scientists and university professors have been killed since last April. . . The Iraqi police say 1,000 of the country's intellectuals may have been executed in the past year, but such a high figure seems doubtful, especially as rumors abound." [Christian Science Monitor]
3) b
-- "Bush White House checked with rapture Christians before
latest Israel move."
[Village
Voice]
4) c -- "The Army kept a soldier whistle-blower in a locked psychiatric ward at its top medical center for nearly two weeks despite concern from some medical staff that he be released, according to medical records. The Army then charged him nearly $6,000 for the stay at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, billing records show." [UPI]
5) b -- "While this video shows a human body having its head chopped off, it does not necessarily portray an act of murder. Berg's headless body was found dumped on a Baghdad roadside on Saturday, May 8. . . the statement in the video is signed with al-Zarqawi's name, dated May 11." [The Sydney Morning Herald]
6) c -- "Madsen, a Washington-based writer and columnist, who often writes for Counterpunch, says that people close to the pope claim that amid these concerns, the pontiff wishes he was younger and in better health to confront the possibility that Bush may represent the person prophesized in Revelations [i.e. the antichrist]." [New Catholic Times]
7) a -- "While George W. Bush and Pope John Paul talked peace in the Vatican on Friday, a military aide held a bulky black attach case containing the codes the U.S. president would need in order to launch a nuclear war." [Reuters]
8) a -- President Bush: ". . . right here in the Oval Office I sat down with Mr. Pachachi and Chalabi and al-Hakim, people from different parts of the country that have made the firm commitment, that they want a constitution eventually written that recognizes minority rights and freedom of religion." [MSNBC]
9) c -- "Ransom, it seems, is not the only motivation for the crimes. In many cases, abductors have ordered the physicians to leave Iraq. . . Iraqi officials fear that the abductions and threats are an organized attempt to cripple the country's healthcare network, likening the tactics to terrorist attacks on the country's oil pipelines or electricity plants." [Los Angeles Times]
10) d -- "So four more years? Why do I say all this? I say all this because I am more frightened now than at any time over the last three and a half years, that this administration will resort to extra-legal methods to do something to ensure that there are four more years for George Bush." [Democracy Now]
11) b – "An MSNBC report read: ‘During his (Berg's) time in Iraq, he struggled with the Arabic language and worked at night on a tower at Abu Ghraib, a site of repeated attacks on US convoys and the location of the notorious prison where US soldiers abused Iraqi inmates.’ For some reason, MSNBC later removed this reference to Abu Ghraib from its article without explaining why." [Gulf News]
12) c – "While Americans are shelling out record prices for fuel, Iraqis pay only about 5 cents a gallon for gasoline - a benefit of hundreds of millions of dollars subsidies bankrolled by American taxpayers." [Billings Gazette]
13) c-- "The State Department finally won out in its struggle with the Pentagon to dump Chalabi and his Iraqi National Congress, delivering Iraq to a competing exiled group, Dr. Iyad Allawi's Iraqi National Accord. But never fear, both groups were CIA-supported and both would be expected to govern as an American puppet." [AntiWar.com]
14) b -- "In his book Why America Slept: The Failure to Prevent 9/11, Gerald Posner makes an explosive allegation: Top figures in the Saudi and Pakistani governments had been directly assisting Osama bin Laden for years and knew al-Qaida was going to strike America on Sept. 11. . . The fact that some of the figures were so highly placed makes it hard to dismiss the possibility, if the allegations are true, that the heads of the Saudi and Pakistani governments signed off on the policy." [Salon.com]
15) c – "As Florida county election boards review a list of thousands of potentially ineligible voters -- including some who may be felons -- CNN is suing the state, claiming the public and media should also be able to review the list. . .Florida's 2000 felon purge program resulted in over 50,000 legal voters being disenfranchised." [CNN]
16)c -- "Mental illnesses including anxiety disorders and depression are common and under-treated in many developed and developing countries, with the highest rate found in the United States, according to a study of 14 countries." [USAToday]
17) d – "Maher: ‘We realized [the difference between Gore and Bush] wasn't Coke and Pepsi, it was Coke and Jesus juice.’" [CNN]
18) b -- "US. and Taliban officials met secretly in Frankfurt almost a year before the Sept. 11 attacks to discuss terms for Afghanistan to hand over Osama bin Laden, according to a German television documentary." [Reuters]
19) b -- "Dr. Kuehne noticed that the war between Atlantis and the eastern Mediterranean described in Plato's writings closely resembled attacks on Egypt, Cyprus and the Levant during the 12th Century BC by mysterious raiders known as the Sea People." [BBC]
20) c -- "At least part of the aerosol project has been dubbed Operation Cloverleaf, probably due to its multi-faceted operations, which include: weather modification, military communications, space weapons development, ozone and global warming research plus biological weaponry and detection testing." [Idaho Observer]
Score:
No matter how many questions you answered correctly, the end result is still the same. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.
Maureen Farrell is a writer and media consultant who specializes in helping other writers get television and radio exposure.
© Copyright 2004, Maureen Farrell