|May 25, 2006||EDITORIAL ARCHIVES|
Denny, the Bushevik Mob is Putting a Horse's Head in Your Bed. Wake Up, They're Sending You a Message. You Violated the Bush Code of Omerta!
A BUZZFLASH GUEST EDITORIAL
The following is a letter from Bruno "The Buzzer" Gotti to Denny Hastert that was leaked to us:
What were you thinking, Denny? What were you thinking?
I read this article up here about how the FBI might be investigating you (I got plenty of time, believe me), and I thought I might give you some advice.
You don't start mouthing off about the Godfather and expect that he won't notice? Come on now. My friend, it's simple: they got the power and you don't. What did you think, this was a democracy or something?
I mean you start getting all hot and bothered about your former crew member, Porter Goss, being dumped from the CIA like a stiff being dropped into Biscayne Bay. You go to the big guy (Mr. Cheney) and the little guy who pretends that he's the big guy (Mr. Fredo Bush) and tell them off. What did you expect?
Let me tell you what an elephant and a mob boss have in common: neither of them forgets.
Hey, your friend, Mr. Goss, is still alive, right. He's a lucky stiff, after all. (Excuse the pun, but I got a lot of time up here in the hoosegow.) Let me tell you something. Many of my associates just got whacked, and I never got a chance to say goodbye.
You and Porter can still go out and have a few beers and some Italian beef sandwiches, so the man on top just expects you to keep your trap shut, otherwise you're next on the list. That's how it works.
So you start with the Goss tantrums. Then you don't learn your lesson, and you start yapping away after the FBI comes into your House.
Listen Denny the Man owns your House! You got it? That's rule number one. He can come in anytime he wants to and you just put out a plate of cold cuts and some Scotch and welcome him like royalty, okay?
After all, Mr. Rove was just having the FBI go after a black Democratic Congressman to play the race card and shift the focus from the ongoing revelations about the Republican mob. It was a two-fer. Magnifico!
And what did you do? You ruined the operation.
You start screaming about how "your House" was violated and the separation of powers and all that stuff that gave me a headache in high school. The Man is the power: there ain't no separation. You dig, Denny?
And then you sign a letter with that Democratic lady -- "Poodle Pelosi" -- asking the FBI to return the files they seized from that black guy's office. Man, you're lucky you are still breathing, my friend. You got mud all over Karl's good work. You sat on his cheese sandwich. A Made Man like yourself ought to know better.
Denny, after 6 years of letting the Godfather and Fredo loot your house, you should know that you aren't going to get away with suddenly slamming the door in their faces.
These guys don't take prisoners, Denny boy. They mix the concrete, shoot and bury.
So when they send you a horse's head and put it in your bed -- like this story about the FBI investigating you -- well, I'd do what the guy in my favorite film of all time, "The Godfather," did. I'd shut my trap and give them anything they want -- and one thing that they don't want is lip. You see where I'm going with this, don't you?
Denny, I kind of consider you one of us, so that is what moved me to write this letter. Learn from me. I've got three more years here because I knew that you don't rat on The Man or cause him trouble. I didn't fink on the outfit, but I'll still be alive when I get out.
Learn from me, Denny. Learn.
This is a battle you can't win.
The Man is The Man and you are just expendable tuna fish to him.
He is the law, Denny. And he's the sheriff. He's the prosecutor, and he's the judge.
Think about that, Denny, before you start mouthing off again.
This time it was a horse's head. Next time it might be your head.
Listen to me. I know what I'm talking about.
With Sincerest Regards,
Bruno "The Buzzer" Gotti
A BUZZFLASH GUEST EDITORIAL
(Yes, this is a fictional letter)
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