GOP Hypocrite of the Week: Bernard Kerik
A BUZZFLASH EDITORIAL
(Listen to the GOPHOTW HERE)
Welcome back to the BuzzFlash.com GOP Hypocrite of the Week.
How well do you think Bush Cartel is doing with National Security if they can't even vet a phony, cop on the take, crony capitalist, possibly mob connected, serial philanderer who they told us would protect our homeland security?
Oh boy, and that's just for starters with Bernie Kerik.
According to the New York Times, the NYPD adulterer and Lothario even conducted one of his long-term affairs at an apartment that had been set aside for 9/11 workers who needed a rest.
Bernie needed rests, lots of them, while jogging between bedrooms. Now we know that the most heroic thing Bernie may have accomplished was keeping his mistresses and wives from finding out about each other, which he eventually failed at, like many other endeavors in his life.
And how about the guy who helped pay for Bernie's latest wedding, which was against department rules, or the one who gave a few thousand for a Tiffany jewel-bedecked police badge? And then there was Bernie's multi-million dollar take on a Taser contract with -- you guessed it -- the Department of Homeland Security. Oh, and "in 1998, Kerik was sued for failing to pay about $5,000 in maintenance fees on a condo he owned in New Jersey. When Kerik failed to respond to a subpoena," Newsweek reported, "a judge issued a warrant for his arrest."
The Bush Cartel must have been mightily impressed with Bernie's failed attempt to train the Iraqi Police Force, even though ole' "hero" Bernie high tailed it out of Baghdad with his tail between his legs, as Slate noted, "two and a half months earlier than he'd planned."
Hey, when this guy was head of security at a Saudi Arabian Hospital, he was accused of using staff security guards to follow around women he was having affairs with to see if they were meeting with other men. And this was in Saudi Arabia!
Bush's Bernie couldn't even keep one mistress from finding about another mistress, let alone the second Mrs. Kerik, who turned out to really be the third Mrs. Kerik -- because it turns out that he may have even been married to a heretofore unknown first Mrs. Kerik while betrothing the second Mrs. Kerik -- not to be confused with the third one. We don't know if you're following this one -- because we're having a hard time keeping up with all of it ourselves -- but the bottom line is that the faux 9/11 "hero" and one time Giuliani fellow tom catter might have been a bigamist at one point.
Good God, Bush apparently wanted this man to be head of National Security so that we could make all women, girls and sheep safe by locking them up and keeping them away from him!
As Columnist Bill Berkowitz notes, the day before Kerik took his name from contention, he was "forced to testify in a civil lawsuit about an alleged affair with a subordinate."
And then there were the "little problems," like he had once declared bankruptcy. The New York Daily News also reported that a six-month investigation showed Kerik had accepted thousands of dollars in cash and gifts without proper disclosure, and had ties to a construction company that investigators believe is linked to the mob.
In the end, the Bush Cartel blamed Kerik's withdrawal on the good 'ol "Nanny problem." Of course, the nanny has conveniently left the country (let's hope she's not buried next to Jimmy Hoffa), but you got to wonder, considering the goods on Kerik, if that's the real reason he withdrew his nomination.
And then you realize that the Bush Cartel probably knew about all of Bernie's personal and legal indiscretions, because they had him by the balls, so to speak. And they like someone with a lot of personal weaknesses, because that person is more likely to give them complete loyalty.
It's the way the Mafia works, after all.
So, Bernie Kerik, you are our "Family Values" Republican Hypocrite of the Week. You almost made it to the Big Show, but don't worry; we're sure there's a hefty paying job and chauffeured limo waiting for you at Halliburton.
Until next week, just remember our motto at BuzzFlash.com: So many Republican hypocrites, so little time.
Catch up with you soon.
A BUZZFLASH EDITORIAL
Additional articles on Bernie Kerik:
"Apartment Said to Have Been Scene of a Kerik Affair," New York Times
"Kerik had third wife; Former Homeland Security nominee never revealed 1978 marriage, investigators find, and friends say they too were kept in the dark," Chicago Tribune
"Alas poor Kerik, we knew him too well; President Bush's choice to head the Dept. of Homeland Security was the wrong man for the wrong job at the wrong time," Bill Berkowitz, WorkingForChange.com
"Questions for Kerik -- Is he qualified to run the Department of Homeland Security?" Slate.com
"Now his double affair laid bare; Kerik cheated on wife with Judith Regan and correction officer," New York Daily News
"Wrong Man for the Job," Ari Berman, The Daily Outrage, The Nation
"News finds Kerik in cash conflict; Got thousands, didn't report it," New York Daily News