April 24, 2004
GOP Hypocrite of the Week: L. Paul Bremer
A BUZZFLASH EDITORIAL
Listen to the GOPHOTW HERE.
Welcome back to the BuzzFlash.com GOP Hypocrite of the Week.
You may not recall that Iraqis are now on their second American Proconsul ruler. The first one selected by the Cheney/Rumsfeld shadow government was retired general Jay Garner.
But apparently, George W. Bush didn't like that Garner made inappropriately dressed forays into the rabble of King George's Iraqi subjects -- sometimes Garner wore a short-sleeve shirt without a tie as he walked into staged photo-ops surrounded by a hired squad of mercenaries.
So George threw a hissy fit and called Colin Powell at the State Department, where appearances count for everything. The conversation must have gone something like this:
"Hey Colin, this Garner guy looks like one of my ranch hands. Get rid of him and find me a guy who looks like he's dressed up for a summer evening cocktail party at the Kennebunkport Country Club. We've got to give the natives over there somebody to look up to."
Powell, deeply appreciative of being back in the loop again, surely stepped up to the plate, "I know just the guy, L. Paul Bremer. He's a real sharp dresser and will say whatever you tell him to say, even if it is grossly hypocritical and doesn't make any sense."
To which George responded, "Colin, I knew I could count on you. That's the kind of man I'm looking for. You know this Garner guy, in addition to being a low class dresser, actually tells the truth -- and that worries me. We have our standards in this administration -- and there is absolutely no place for the truth."
And Bremer has definitely fulfilled Bush's expectations: In the name of democracy, Bremer has performed like a true Bush Cartel lackey and suppressed democracy. By most accounts, Bremer is credited with setting off the fire that lit Fallujah because he closed down a paper that he said was threatening democracy. You know how free speech can undermine democracy, don't you, Paul? That's what makes you George's kind of guy.
So, we're closing in on 700 American GIs killed in Iraq, thousands wounded, thousands of Iraqis killed and perhaps tens of thousands wounded. And that doesn't even include American civilians, including missionaries and mercenaries, who aren't are a part of the official Pentagon military body count.
But what does that all matter to L. Paul Bremer? He's a Bush success story: lie when you need to -- and lie when you don't need to, just to keep in practice; dress like you are going to a country club dinner party; look casually engaged among a squad of mercenary security guards armed with guns the size of howitzers; and consider every Iraqi -- except the paid and bought Chalabi clan -- an enemy of democracy.
That's why L. Paul Bremer is our 28th BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week. We thought the guy could use a little special honor, with this being the bloodiest month for our GIs in Iraq. You know it kind of ruins a good round of martinis when you have to sign off on a rush order of extra body bags. Doesn't it, Mr. Bremer?
Geez, the indignities some people have to endure.
By the way, what does the L. stand for anyway? Perhaps, Liar?
Until next week, just remember our motto at BuzzFlash.com: So many Republican hypocrites, so little time.
Catch up with you soon.
A BUZZFLASH EDITORIAL
otherwise noted, all original