October 10, 2003
A BUZZFLASH EDITORIAL
Listen to the GOPHOTW HERE.
Welcome back to the BuzzFlash.com GOP Hypocrite of the Week, where our motto is: So many Republican hypocrites, so little time!
In our first two installments, we honored the new governor of California, Arnold “Gang Bang the Groper” Schwarzenegger, and Rush “The Pill-Poppin’ Porker” Limbaugh.
But then we thought -- What about the unsung GOP hypocrites? The ones who are barely known outside of their home states?
My friends, these are largely unheralded Republicans who day in and day out labor in the vineyards of hypocrisy for the mere honor of it.
At BuzzFlash we think it’s time to give one of them the recognition that he deserves.
That’s why South Dakota Congressman Wild Bill Janklow is BuzzFlash.com GOP Hypocrite of the Week.
It seems Wild Bill -- who is known around the Dakotas for his lead foot -- managed to blow through a stop sign on one of his more recent law-breaking drives. Did we mention that he was going 20 miles an hour over the speed limit?
This time Wild Bill's speeding garnered him more than a rush of excitement and a ticket. This time he also collided with a motorcycle carrying 55-year-old U.S. veteran Randolph E. Scott and sent Mr. Scott to the sweet hereafter.
That's something our friends in the legal business call "vehicular manslaughter."
Wild Bill, of course, is all broken up about having killed Mr. Scott. In fact, Congressman Janklow is SO upset that he pleaded innocent to all charges.
And while friends of Mr. Scott's family hoped Janklow would take responsibility for the accident, we all know it would be impossible for him to do so.
See, Janklow knows that accepting responsibility for one’s actions is
a positively un-Republican thing to do and, more importantly to the GOP
crowd, something that can get you uninvited to the White House barbecues.
Did BuzzFlash pick a winner this week or what?
While Janklow’s statements seem puzzling, it all becomes clear when you remember this: He’s a Republican. And with Republicans, it's all about them.
Just ask Bill O’Reilly.
Of course, Janklow will probably get that good ole' Republican justice: a $50 fine and community service at a Dick Cheney fundraiser. Maybe they'll make him dance with Lynne.
Ewww. My God, the justice system is so brutal on Republicans.
Well, that's our GOP Hypocrite of the Week: Mr. Bill "I Kill for Speed" Janklow.
Until next week, this is Buzz from BuzzFlash.com signing off with our motto: So many Republican hypocrites, so little time.
Catch up with you soon!
A BUZZFLASH EDITORIAL
otherwise noted, all original