May 4, 2005
by Will Durst
Hey, you crazy faithful, how bout a hand for the Doctor Senator Reverend Indian Chief Bill Frist. Could that guy sweet talk the chrome off the bumper of a 57 Ford or what? And one more time for little Bonita Gonzalez for channeling the Spirit of Ronald Reagan. Should have trusted the Lord to find a way for the Great Communicator to lend a hand in our just cause. And while you’re at it, give yourselves a huge hand for not staying home and watching "Davey and Goliath" but filling the Sugar Bowl in TODAY’S NATIONALLY TELEVISED JUSTICE SUNDAY RALLY 2 SPONSORED BY EXXON-MOBIL! A follow up, or should I say a sequel, to our fabulously successful first Justice Sunday Rally, which frightened the liberal media like a little schoolgirl with hairy spiders down her pants.
And just why are the liberals frightened? Yes, of course, because they’re doomed to spend all of eternity in damnation, but also because they’re afraid of God’s righteous retribution. Afraid of the resolve and conviction the Lord filled us with in our triumphant crusade to wrestle the devil’s pitchfork, the filibuster, to the ground. Afraid of getting their asses kicked in the 06 midterm elections just as sure as God made little acorns to grow up into mighty oaks and topple over onto the picnic blankets of the godless pinning them to the ground in writhing agony. Afraid that George Bush will appoint more judges that are too conservative. Too conservative? What does that mean, ladies and gentlemen? Its like saying the sky is too blue. Or the grass is too green. Or Dennis Hastert is too bland.
Today’s JUSTICE SUNDAY RALLY 2 is a celebration of the destruction of the judicial tyranny that kept Beelzebub’s foot on the neck of people of faith: Satan’s Filibuster. But we can never get so comfortable that we think our job here is done. So let us turn our attention to other forms of repression the inhuman hater of life utilizes to grease the skids for him and his cloven hoofed brethren in Washington and Hollywood. Including but not limited to:
Also, we’ll take a few shots at activist school boards and anybody who makes fun of Rick Santorum’s hair. But first, let’s welcome Tom DeLay who will explain how to find Satan’s secret subliminal messages in the New York Times.
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Political comic Will Durst keeps looking for Satan’s secret subliminal messages in Rick Santorum’s hair. He is America's premier political comedian and writes "comedy for people who read, or know someone who does." For more on Will, visit his web site.