BuzzFlash Reader Commentary
October 31, 2002
BUZZFLASH READER COMMENTARY
"U.S. President Is Sole 'Commander in Chief'"
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has now ordained by unilateral personal decree that President Bush is the only person entitled to be called "Commander-in-Chief." Further, he has ordered that the use of its current military acronym, CINC, be discontinued.
Now, far be it for me to question Sec. Rumsfeld's judgment in these matters. Therefore, I would respectfully suggest that henceforth all BuzzFlash readers comply with this directive, and no longer refer to President Bush as CINC, or even as POTUS. Instead, Dubya's new acronym is now COMIC, as much more befitting his character and that of his administration.
Here in Honolulu, where what was formerly known for nearly 70 years as CINCPAC ("Commander-in-Chief, Pacific") is headquartered at Pearl Harbor, we're all too familiar with the U.S. military's affinity for its often indecipherable acronyms. And, good neighbors that we are, we've been wracking our brains out to help them out, by coming up with a new one to replace the venerable CINCPAC. Here's the top ten suggestions:
(10) CONNEDPAC -- "Commander - Operations Neccesary to Nab Evil Doers, PACific"
(9) COMPACT -- "COMmander - PACific Theatre"
(8) COMPROMISED -- "COMmander - Pacific Regional Operations Management In Supremely Efficient Defense"
(7) COMPOUND -- "COMmander -Pacific Operations Under Nebulous Direction"
(6) CHOPSTIC -- "Commander - Hawaii Operations, Pacific Strategy, Tentatively In Control"
(5) CHAPSTIC -- "Commander - Hawaii And Pacific Strategic Theatre, International Command"
(4) CRACPOT -- "Commander - Regional Area Command, Pacific Ocean Theatre"
(3) CROCOSHIT -- "Commander - Regional Operations Command Over Strategic Hawaii and International Territories"
(2) CHAOS -- "Commander - Hawaii And Ocean Strategies"
and the number one acronym to replace CINCPAC ...
COMMUNISTPAC -- "COMMander - UNIted STates, PACific"
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otherwise noted, all original