July 15, 2002
I Plead "Justifiable Paranoia," Your Honor
by
The Geezer
OK,
I guess I'm ready to send in my dues to The Grassy Knoll Society.
1. 1989 - George H. W. "Read-My-Lips" Bush (the last Bush to
win the presidency in an actual free election) appoints crony Richard
Breeden to head the Securities and Exchange Commission.
2. 1990 - George W. "Ar-BUST-O" Bush, through some completely unintended "malfeance," attracts the attention of Breeden's SEC.
3.
1991 - Although their investigation finds that W. is culpable in four
distinct violations of SEC rules, the SEC elects not to prosecute. Hey,
this is Poppy POTUS's boy! Case closed.
Fast Forward to 2002 -
4. Global communications giant WorldCom melts down, due (in part) to some of the same shenanigans Arbusto/Spectrum7/Bush Exploration/Harken Oil was guilty of -- just on an infinitely larger scale. A Monitor is appointed to oversee the bankruptcy of WorldCom. The Monitor is...(drum roll)...Richard Breeden! What an absolutely surprising coincidence.
Paranoid?
Me?
FYI:
You
might think that obtaining Mr. Breeden's considerable talent and expertise
in this monumental undertaking would be beyond price. You might think
that, but you'd be wrong. Eight hundred bucks an hour. $800.00/hr. Eight-zero-zero
with a Dollar $ign in front. Per hour. That's the price.
I don't have a clue as to how many hours per week Mr. Breeden will find
it necessary to devote to his duties. A standard eight hour day would
come to $6,400.00. That's $32,000.00 per 5 day week. $140,800 for a standard
22 day work month. $1,689,600.00 if it takes a year. Call it 1.7 mil.
I know this sounds like a lot, but it's still 18.3 mil less than the average
CEO pay at a major corporation (according to the venerable New York Times).
I think this includes stock options, "forgiven" loans, and offshore
dummy corporation deals, but the math is a little fuzzy on that. Relatively
speaking, it's chump change.
If he has to come in on weekends at time-and-a-half (or double time?)
he would be able to supplement his base pay to the tune of $998,400.00
- $1,331,200.00 annually. That is supposing two eight hour days times
52 week ends in a year...you can do the math. So, if Mr. Breeden sees
that he must go at this hammer-and-tongs, seven days a week, 52 weeks
a year (paid holidays) his total BEFORE TAXES is still just $3,020,800.00
max, only about 15% of the average. This is actually good news for us,
because you and I, as taxpayers, will be picking up the tab. Of course
taxes would ordinarily take a large bite out of that, but happily Mr.
Bush is doing everything he possibly can to ease that burden too.
There now...don't you feel better?
The Geezer
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