New Wine in Old Bottles

March 5, 2002

English is a living, changing language; unlike France and Spain, we have no Royal Academy to say, "Stay!", to prevent new coinages ("dogs") from entering the language. And while new words and phrases enter common usage ("glitch," "interface," "gibberish"), older words and phrases also take on new meanings.

Some of the older definitions have been lost from mind. Back during the Great Depression of the 1930s, beloved comedian and real cowboy Will Rogers defined a "holding company" thus: "A Holding Company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you."

Here, from reality, are some new definitions and illustrations of old terms:

• "FREUDIAN SLIP." An unintentional slip of the tongue that often, though not always, reveals the speaker’s deeper concern or qualm of conscience over what is said; sometimes accidentally discloses unpleasant truths. Example: "Not over my dead body will they raise your taxes." (The correct idiom is, "only over my dead body . . .")

• "MONEY LAUNDERING." Defined by the European Community as "The disguise or concealment of the true nature, source, location, disposition, movement, rights with respect to, or ownership of property, knowing that such property is derived from serious crime." Example: "the dot-com boom and bust." Did you really think billions in "venture capital" went to adolescents trafficking in ones and zeros, heading "companies" with no assets and no profits, out of excitement over computer technology from investors who can’t program their own VCRs? Closely related to "follow the money," e.g. from Miami to Seattle to Vegas.

• "FAST-TRACK" authority; closely related to "free trade." Eliminates congressional oversight in deals between companies in different countries, overturning safety and health regulations. Also known as "security breaches."

• "EDUCATION REFORM." Standardized testing, certified retraining of teachers and other school personnel, and requirements for certification in other occupations. Huge financial windfall for some ed-biz, occupational-training, and publishing companies.

• "ECONOMIC STIMULUS." Enormous tax and credit windfall for the top stratum of the largest corporations in America; turns billions over to top managers, with no public financial oversight; see "money laundering," above.

• "TAX CUT." Major shifting of wealth from 98% of the population to the top 2% and to the top stratum of the largest corporations. Not literally a cut, since the deficits have to be made up by other taxpayers and the state governments. See "Freudian slip," above.

• "CEO." Chief Executive Officer. Someone hired to represent the company at social functions (substitutes for "mail fraud") while the company is misrun. A "hands-on" CEO is someone who buys a good company ("stodgy"), siphons the value out of it, and runs it into the ground.

• "MILITARY TRIBUNALS." One-term presidency.

* * *

Contributed by BuzzFlash Reader Margie Burns