The Ballad of Poor Kenneth Lay
January 4, 2001
Kudos to BuzzFlash for keeping the Enron financial scandal on the radar screen. I became an Enron shareholder by default when that corporation took over Portland General Electric and forcibly converted PGE shareholder's stock in 1998. Three years later, what had been a nice $20,000 college graduation gift from my late grandparents was soon emptied, leaving me and countless thousands of others holding the bag.
Because I'm young, I certainly have time to recoup that loss through my future earnings and investments. But my heart goes out to not only Enron's employees and retirees, but PGE's as well. They lost nearly everything, while the well-to-do at the top apparently did right well, according to the many articles I've read courtesy of BuzzFlash's links.
I was deeply touched--this being a family-friendly website, I won't say where--by a recent Los Angeles Times article that chronicled how poor ol' Ken Lay couldn't get any of his Washington friends to return his phone calls, because it seems that they are actually distancing themselves from any connections to Enron.
"No!" you say. "They wouldn't ... they couldn't ... how cruel!" But alas, apparently it's true--poor ol' Ken Lay is telling us that he has no more friends to play with.
Later that evening, while reading "Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat" to my 3-year-old nephew, I was suddenly inspired to write the following terribly cheesy poem about poor ol' Ken Lay, currently wallowing in self-pity and $200 million. And so, with apologies to the late Dr. Seuss:
BALLAD OF POOR KENNETH LAY
friends in high places, both within and without,
board was caught with their hands in the till
called up my friend in the White House to say
hung up. I called back and said "Now, c'mon—
it was you all along who—(Damn! That won't fly ...
George, can't you see that the Feds have no case?"
the hundreds of millions of dollars I stashed
calamitous financial losses they face
that’s not the end of this woebegone tale
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otherwise noted, all original