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American Marriage

A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION
by Carolyn in Tennessee

Today courts in New York and Georgia joined several other states in once again telling gay and lesbian citizens that we are not equal to our heterosexual counterparts.

Considering that the institution of marriage is a farce, I'm not really sure why we seek the right to marry other than to force our government to live by the Constitution that it claims is the underpinning of our Democracy.

I have become so weary of hearing the word Marriage glorified by the religious right because, frankly, marriage in the United States of America has become little more than a metaphor for dysfunctional. If you are a heterosexual there are no real requirements for marriage except three:

1. You must not be currently married.
2. You must have reached the legal age of consent or be mentally able to legally consent.
3. You must marry someone of the opposite sex.

That, in a nutshell is it! That's all you have to do to enter into wedlock in the USA.

It doesn't matter whether or not you love the person you're marrying. It doesn't matter if you're marrying for money, revenge or social status. It doesn't matter what religious affiliation you are or even if you have a religious affiliation. It doesn't matter whether or not you marry a US citizen. It doesn't matter if this is your first marriage or your 100th. It doesn't matter if you can procreate or consummate. It doesn't matter if you live together or apart. It doesn't matter if you betray your wedding vows. It doesn't matter if you're an 18 year old marrying a 100 year old as long as you can find a way to say, spell, whisper, nod or otherwise acknowledge the "I do" part of the marriage ceremony.

In the United States you can get married if you're a murderer on death row, if you're a gang banger, bank robber, rapist, arsonist, prostitute, drug dealer, pathological liar or sociopath. You can marry on your death bed or in the hospital at the birth of your 12th child. You can marry the day your previous marriage is ended by divorce and you can file for divorce the day after you get married for the 5th time. You can even marry and procreate with a convicted child molester, but you cannot, under any circumstance, marry someone of the same gender, no matter how much you love each other and no matter how many years you've shared together.

Our beloved heterosexual institution of marriage is so important to this religious-patriot society that you can even marry a terrorist who was caught plotting to blow up the U.S. as long as you conform to the antiquated, backward, self-righteous requirements set forth by those who believe the Constitution applies only to people of their sexual proclivity.

Opponents of gay marriage argue that marriage between two men or two women threatens the sanctity of the institution by tearing at its social threads. Well, I believe that marriage is already threadbare and that what it really needs is some good, decent, honest, hardworking, taxpaying gay and lesbian citizens to stitch it back together again and maybe even add a few sequins along the way.

At 60 years old I have no expectation of living long enough to see gays and lesbians win the right to marry, but I do expect to live with my partner of 22 years until the day one of us passes on. Maybe society can keep us from marrying, but it can never keep us from loving one another. It is that precious, abiding, faithful love that helps us to endure. Peace to all of my brothers and sisters.

Carolyn in Tennessee

A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION