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Protect the Flag - Full Metal Jacket Version

A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION
by Charlie Parisek

Congress is now debating a resolution to amend the Constitution prohibiting desecration of our flag. The House of Representatives has just approved it and the motion now goes before the Senate, which is expected to approve it by a narrow margin.

Good.

I am wholeheartedly in favor of a Constitutional amendment banning desecration of the great Stars 'n Stripes. Before presenting the motion to the States for ratification, the new amendment should be strongly worded so that the flag receives its proper respect and must, without reservation, include the following provisions:

1) The right to display The Flag freely shall be limited to the federal government.

2) Display of The Flag shall be restricted to federal land and federal buildings.

3) Possession of The Flag by persons other than those within the federal government or in the direct employ of the federal government shall be strictly prohibited.

4) Sales and distribution of The Flag, its image, or any facsimile thereof shall be solely the responsibility of the federal government. Commercial or non-commercial sales and/or distribution of The Flag, its image, or any facsimile thereof by any private or state institution, company, entity, or individual shall be strictly prohibited.

5) Display and usage of The Flag, its image, or any facsimile thereof for any occasion and/or use shall be strictly prohibited except as stated in number 1) above.

6) The Flag shall be referred to only as "The Flag of the United States of America". Any other reference to The Flag (including well-known designations such as "Old Glory", "Stars 'n Stripes", "Bars and Stars", et. al) shall be strictly prohibited.

7) Oral reference to The Flag by persons or institutions outside the federal government shall be limited to normal conversation, hereby defined as non-amplified and non-disseminated conversation between no more than three (3) persons at any one time. Oral reference to The Flag shall not exceed more than two (2) references per hour per gathering as prescribed by number 6) above.

8) Oral and written references to The Flag in recorded and broadcast media, whether digital, analog, or by other freely disseminated means, shall be strictly prohibited.

9) The Flag shall not be deified, venerated, exalted, or used to further idolatry. This applies to any individual, group, commercial/non commercial enterprise, organization, gathering, media, or any other entity outside the federal government.

10) Any display, use, sale, or expression regarding The Flag not expressly authorized by this document shall be strictly prohibited.

This should just about do it. No more tacky lawn displays, stupid lapel pins, inane pledges, and cheap TV graphics. No more flag-waving pundits, infuriating bumper stickers, and ugly coffee cups (Made in China). No more wasted time before ball games. In short, no more disrespect to the sacred symbol of our beloved Homeland.

But until such time that these protections to The Flag are fully in place, I will do with the flag pretty much damn well as I please. Whether it's wrapping myself in it or using it to train puppies, it's my flag as much as yours.

As it always should be.

Thank you very much.

Regards,

Charlie Parisek

All the Republicans Can Produce in Congress is Demagogic Votes Like the One on Flag Burning. They are Useless as Legislators...Worse Than Useless; They are Destructive and Pestilent. 6/26

A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION