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Who Needs the ACLU? Cheney Just Banned Jesus From the Senate

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by Chris Cronin

The American Civil Liberties Union has a long history of fighting for the civil liberties of citizens and residents of the United States of America.  Notoriously, their fight for the separation of church and state has been at the forefront of this fight, and has recently been featured by a judge in Pennsylvania who said Nyet! to creationism in public school science classes.  

And now, today, Jesus is finally gone from the Senate chambers, never again to haunt that godless space.  For today, Dick Cheney stepped into the Senate and cast his vote in favor of reducing funding for the poor and those who are fighting for a leg up in society.  

You see, Jesus -- a radical, Jewish religious figure from days of yore (his birthday is coming up if I recall from a recent rant on Fox News) -- used to tell people that helping poor people was good, and hoarding wealth was bad.  He even said that camels pass through eyes of needles easier than rich men get into heaven.  He also said things like, what you do to the least of my brothers you have done to me. A real radical, for sure.  

But George Bush, President of the United States, fought hard alongside Dick Cheney and Congressional Republicans for the separation of church and state throughout his tenure as president by granting tax breaks which favored the wealthy, despite the commands and advice from his radical religious mentor and favorite philosopher, Jesus Christ. 

When the tax breaks led to huge deficits, George and his civil-liberties-minded Republican Congressmen again fought for the separation of Church and State and avoided Christ's advice and commandments by reducing US aid to poor people to cover the differences between spending and revenue.  

That Jesus!  He does all he can to stay in our hearts and minds, and that's okay by me.  But he needs to stay clear of government.  We have laws that even he would be subject to if he were being born here with a homeless mother and without health care.  Perhaps there's a barn for people to be born in, given such circumstances?  

Anyway, thanks to the ACLU and the stalwart works of George Bush and his Republican Congress, Jesus Christ is nowhere to be found in American government today.   Whew!  Just in time for Christmas!    

Chris Cronin
Host
American Dissent Radio

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