BuzzFlash Reader Contribution

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I Got Ejected from a George Bush Event!

A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION
by Mike Bailey

I just had one of the most exciting moments of my life. I think it probably comes in second (after my wedding), and ahead of the first time I swam in the ocean, and receiving U2 tickets (for Dublin) from my wife.

I just got thrown out of one of George Bush's Social Security "town meetings." You know, the ones where he scoots around the country, fills up a room full of Kool-Aid-drinking Republicans, and answers softball questions (or just gives his sales pitch with no questions). And all on the taxpayer dime.

Yep, I sat there like a good boy, up in the nosebleed section, clapping for Anne Northup (our Bush clone congresswoman), praying in Jesus' name, and all that good stuff. Then Bush got up and gave his one-sided Social Security talk. I finally couldn't take it anymore, and I stood up and shouted my opinions. "Let's not use Social Security money for private accounts! I like private accounts, I've got two! A 401k and a Roth. But let's not steal from Social Security! How about private accounts outside of Social Security?" People started shushing me with furrowed brows and shocked expressions. "Shhh. That's rude!" I just kept on yelling. "Mr. President, can't you hear me?" I repeated my mantra over and over and he kept on talking, trying to ignore me. He began to stumble a bit on words. I don't blame the guy. It's hard to keep your lies straight when someone is yelling the truth at you. And the acoustics at Whitney Hall are amazing! The truth was echoing from the rafters.

Well the good Republican folks of Louisville began to get very upset. They started yelling and clapping to drown me out, and they succeeded. They drowned out poor George too, so he had to sit quietly and watch the chaos. I figured the Secret Service or police would have grabbed me within seconds, but they never came to get me. I had been yelling for at least 20-30 seconds before the crowd shut me down with their yells, and I knew my seat mates were not about to allow me to sit back down. They were glaring at me with eyes filled with hate and shock. How could a well-dressed, polite, white boy betray his own kind? I figured sitting back down was fairly dangerous, so I walked away from my seat and moseyed out of the large balcony I was in.

As I closed the balcony door behind me, one of Louisville's Finest arrived. This guy was huge! Very nice, very professional, and very careful and appropriate in his treatment of me. (Now, I am a polite, tie-wearing, suspender clad, young man with a neat haircut, and he was twice my size, so he could tell my meek little butt was coming along without causing any more problems. I shudder to think what might have happened if I had had pink hair, multiple piercings, or a big Rasta hairdo. Uh, well, I guess I would never have been allowed in if I looked like that.)

He IDed me and we began walking toward the exit. Suddenly, four more policemen were sprinting up toward us. (I guess they had run up from way downstairs. I'm surprised they didn't have more upstairs enforcement to handle trouble-makers like me.) But the new arrivals were very nice once my very large new friend sarcastically advised them that he had managed to get me under control.

He turned me over to them, they walked me to the exit and across the street, and then the media descended! I got a taped interview and then I took another protestor/ejectee back for a live interview. It was a huge rush and a lot of fun. I think it was important to get out the message that there are good alternatives to Bush's terrible plan, but a part of me, maybe that little kid who challenged authority, just loved defying the most powerful person on the planet. What can I say. I'm a wild man. (A wild man who got permission from his wife before doing this. I was thinking about speaking out before I got to the event, but I cleared it with her first :-) )

Stay tuned for the further adventures of wacko liberal pinko commie scum Mike and his band of gay-loving America-hating troop-bashing baby-killing degenerates (and don't you believe a word from the radical right, including all the previous names they call folks like me.)

A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION