January 26, 2005
Mrs. Norma Revsource
800 E. Gimme St.
Anytown, Florida 33600

Dear Mrs. Revsource,

This letter is to advise you that we will need more money to complete the renovation of your kitchen. I realize that I quoted you a figure last year that was substantial and that I gave you assurances that it would be adequate to complete the job. To be fair I based that amount on the information given to me by my appraisal staff and apparently they were wrong, not me. Materials and labor have skyrocketed in cost and that cost does need to be paid by you, Mrs. Revsource, regardless of what I may have said in the past. If you want your kitchen renovation completed it will be necessary for you to pony up again.

In review, you agreed to let us inspect your home for termites. We had every reason to believe that you had a major termite infestation and you paid for us to find the termites and eradicate them. As yet we have torn your kitchen cabinets, counters, and walls apart and as yet have found no termites, but rest assured we did find one rather large roach trying to hide in a hole and captured it. Let there be no doubt, where this roach lives, there are termites.

In the process of dismantling your kitchen we did drop some heavy tools and a dishwasher severely damaging your flooring which now must also be replaced. I realize the dishwasher crushed your kitten but those things happen. I also realize that your neighbors have complained about our trucks being parked in their yards and about all the noise but frankly we don't care.

Getting back to your kitchen, when I advised that you pay for the bigger Sub-Zero refrigerator you agreed albeit reluctantly to pay for it. How was I supposed to know it would require us to raise your ceiling? That's a cost to you of doing business. A cost that you must bear.

You have also complained that you must pay higher prices for purified water since we accidentally poisoned your well. Rest assured that the bottled water you have been buying is of the highest quality. I know because my daddy and his friends own the springs it is taken from. I have talked to my brother the Mayor and he said that he will not tax the water you now use for bathing, which is filtered through filters we sold you, for a month just to help you out.

You have expressed some discontent but since you are in the minority we are not listening. I don't need to remind you that somewhere near fifty percent of the people whose survey was read chose us as their contracting company. If that isn't a mandate for what we do I don't know what is.

You can complain all you want but we are seeing to it that lawyers won't be taking cases on contingent fee basis anymore so unless you have the money to pay them (which would be better spent just paying us) forget it.

And don't think for a minute that calling any pesky reporter will help you either. The last guy that tried to expose us is now looking for work and his lard ass big mouthed film making pal isn't getting any awards either! If you just can't resist the temptation to involve the media I urge you to call FOX News. They do a decent job and are fair and unbiased.

In closing, I must express my deepest regret that one of our trucks did run over your son. We all feel the pain when that happens but I assure you that his sacrifice was honorable and that it will all be worth it once your kitchen is completed.

When that will happen I cannot say. I really don't have a clear objective time table or plan for finishing this thing. Rest assured that as we make progress we will bill you.

Sincerely,

George W. Shrub
Shrub/Ropey Contracting
Encl: Your Bill

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