BuzzFlash Reader Contribution

November 3, 2004

CONTRIBUTOR ARCHIVES  

What I'm Thankful For

A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION
by Jeff Crook

It's only a few weeks until Thanksgiving, but I think on this gray and soggy day it is particularly appropriate for me to recall all the reasons I have to be thankful.

I am thankful that I am a man. I'll never have to get an abortion in a truckstop motel.

I am thankful that I am white. At least I won't be stopped at the door.

I am thankful that I am straight. I'll never be persecuted for my sexual preferences.

I am thankful that I am over 35 years old. I am also thankful that I failed out of computer science, and that I suck at foreign languages. I'm not going to be drafted.

I am thankful that my wife will turn 35 next May. The woman I've loved for the past 19 years, and the mother of our two children, won't be drafted either.

I am thankful that my parents raised me as a Protestant. I'm still a member of a church somewhere, so I can put it on my National ID card and not go to jail for falsifying documents.

I am thankful that my children are both boys. They'll never be told what to do with their bodies.

I am thankful that my two boys are both blond, with blue eyes. They won't be stopped at the door, either.

I am thankful that there are three more presidential administrations (after the coming one) between my oldest son and a military draft.

I am thankful that my youngest son has a rare genetic abnormality in one eye that will probably keep him out of the military for the rest of his life, especially since they won't be able to use stem cells to repair it.

I am thankful I have a job with a government contractor. They're hiring, not laying people off.

I am thankful I don't live on the coast. Global warming, hurricanes, melting ice caps - it's too frightening.

I am thankful I live in a mid-sized American city, not one of those high-profile target cities on the coasts.

And I'm thankful that I am young enough that there is still a chance that I can save enough money to retire to some country that has socialized medicine, and so I won't have to depend on Social Security and Medicare.

I'm a lucky man. But on this day of early thanksgiving, I must remember those who are not so lucky as I.

I remember my wife's brother, who is 26 and studying computer technology at a state university. He'll be at the head of the draft line.

I remember my nieces, all four of them. They're smart and creative and independent, and they're screwed. And my second cousin who I helped through geometry. She's about 20 now, and she is so screwed.

I remember my brother, a veteran of Bush War I. He's screwed.

I remember my gay and lesbian friends and relatives. You're all screwed. Sorry.

I remember my parents, both recently retired. Mom, Dad, you're screwed.

I remember my wife's parents, both of whom are in an even leakier retirement boat than my parents. They're really screwed.

I remember other relatives, up to their necks in credit card debt. Boy, are they screwed.

And I remember my next door neighbors and the ones across the street and down the road and in the church they're building behind my house. They're black. They've been screwed for a long time, but things are about to get worse.

And all the other people I don't know, and will likely never meet. Regular Iraqi people trying to have a normal life, Jews who just want to live in peace, Palestinians who just want to live. Gosh, I'm sorry but you're all really, really screwed.

I tried. I really did. But it didn't work out this time. Maybe in our next incarnation we can all live together in peace. On Mars.

Jeff Crook

A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION