BuzzFlash Reader Contribution

Buzz Finally Holds Someone Accountable: Update on the Battle of the Bulge

A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION
Satire by ANK

Buzz Internet News Service: Reeling from a barrage of Internet stories suggesting that he was wired for the first debate, President George W. Bush went where he had been heretofore unwilling to go: "I can admit to errors," the President proclaimed, adding, "there are mistakes which require accountability."

Standing straight and speaking in hushed tones, defining the seriousness of what he was about to do, the President announced, "For his poor job in altering my suit so as to create the impression of a bulge in my back, I have today signed an order firing my tailor and deporting him to Chechnya."

" Let me be clear," Bush added, after pausing to listen to Karl Rove prompting him through an ear piece, "this Administration will hold not hesitate to hold those who err accountable for their errors."

Asked why he had not held anyone accountable before, the President noted, "that's not quite true."

Mystified by the answer, members of the press turned to Scott McClellan who reminded reporters: "Remember what happened to Christie Todd Whitman when she prioritized the environment over energy companies. Remember what happened to General John Shalikashvili when he didn't tell us what we wanted to hear. And, though you didn't know it, the President has fired several White House cooks for overcooking his burgers."

Meanwhile, the RNC today launched a new attack add portraying John Kerry as an arrogant patrician who spends ten of thousands of dollars for extravagant tailored suits, without any bulges in the back, made in France by out-sourced labor while George Bush, a man of the people, will henceforth buy all his clothes off the rack at K-Mart thereby creating more jobs for American workers.

A White House source, who wished to remain anonymous, denied that the President was flip-flopping about his $2000 suits crafted by a French tailor.

A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION