May 7, 2004
Satire: Limbaugh Will Calm Troops Guarding Iraq Prison
BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION
LIMBAUGH WILL CALM TROOPS GUARDING IRAQ PRISON
Palm Beach, FL – Radio entertainer Rush Limbaugh, hoping to aid U.S. troops guarding Iraqi detainees, has announced he will send some of his extensive stockpile of sedative medications to troops at Abu Ghraib prison.
Photographs showing abuse of detainees by U.S. military guards at the prison have dominated the news recently, and Limbaugh spent most of his program Wednesday defending the guards. He said the stress and tension of serving in a war zone had a hand in sparking the incidents.
"You know, these people are being fired at every day," Limbaugh said on his nationally syndicated radio show. "You ever heard of emotional release? You heard of the need to blow some steam off?"
Limbaugh then announced that he would ship to the troops half of his personal stockpile of prescription sedatives, a collection estimated in the thousands of doses.
"Look folks, our troops need our support." Limbaugh said. "They’re under a lot of stress and you know what? I want to announce, right here and now, that I will be sending half of my own, personal supply of chill pills to Abu Graib."
"Believe me, folks – I’m NOT making this up – American pharmaceuticals are the best in the world," the popular talker continued. "If our troops are acting out because they can’t find another way to blow off steam, then I know I can help."
And then, in what he later called a spontaneous moment of inspiration, Limbaugh urged his listeners to join him.
"You know what? I want you to pitch in. We’re all going to have to sacrifice if we hope to win President Bush’s crusade against terrorism," he said. "So, folks, if you’ve got a few extra Percocets in the medicine cabinet, or any leftover Oxycodone or even simple Valium, I want you to send it to me here at E.I.B. network headquarters, and we’ll make sure it gets to Abu Graib."
E.I.B. stands for "Excellence In Broadcasting," a name Limbaugh has long applied to his radio show. At the suggestion of a listener who called in after his announcement Wednesday, Limbaugh said for the duration of the Iraq War he would rename it the "Ecstasy In Broadcasting" network.
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