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BuzzFlash Discloses Alleged Memorandum Bush Sent to 9/11 Commission. A Breaking News Satire Alert That Is Too Close to the Truth

A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION

BuzzFlash Note: A reader forwarded this memorandum that Bush allegedly submitted to the 9/11 Commission as an example of what he and Condoleezza Rice would have considered an actual "actionable" warning that would have made them take steps to try and prevent 9/11. In the absence of such concrete information, Bush and Rice allegedly communicated to Commission members that they cannot be held accountable for having failed to take efforts to prevent hijackings from occurring -- and that Bush's month-long rest on the ranch was justified based on the stressful job responsibilities caused by the harsh criticism he has had to endure from the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly.

* * *

August 6, 2001

From the Desk of the President of the United States

Dear 9/11 Commission Members,

I solemnly swear that if National Security Advisor Rice and I had received the following letter from Osama bin Laden on August 6th of 2001, I would have immediately had someone yank John Ashcroft off of that scaffold he was standing on while he was covering up the breasts of justice and had him personally cuff the bad guys at Logan Airport. I would have also sent Rummy down to Dulles to daze and confuse the hijackers there by just talking to them. That would have prevented 9/11 all right. But the actual PDB warnings of imminent hijackings in the United States and Al Qaeda members running around New York looking for buildings to bomb were just too vague for me to do anything about. I mean, it would have ruined my vacation. Someone's always bitching about something, if you excuse my French.

I hope that you can put this into the record. The American people need to know the truth.

Sincerely,
George W. Bush
THE President

****

Memorandum to 9/11 Commission Members from THE President of America

Here is the letter that we needed to stop 9/11, but Osama, that inconsiderate S.O.B., never sent it to me, even though I once sent him an autographed picture of me sitting in front of that pick-up truck without an engine that Karl has me pose in down on that ranch we bought just before being appointed President.

Dear Mr. Bush,

We are going to hijack four airliners, on Sept. 11, 2001, and fly them into the World Trade Towers and the Pentagon.

Oh, I forgot to mention, we would be hijacking them from Boston Logan Airport and another airport to be determined. I'm sorry I can't be more specific. (I know you prefor more specific information, but we have some details to work out yet. We will send you the names of the hijackers when we have reconfirmed our four teams and the flight numbers.)

Hope this helps.

With Sincerest Regards,
Osama

* * *

BuzzFlash apologizes if we have compromised national security by revealing this alleged White House document. But in the interest of helping to exonerate Mr. Bush, a "Senior Administration Official" forwarded it to one of our readers, and we felt compelled to post it in the spirit of helping our readers understand that warnings that Al Qaeda members were casing buildings in New York and planning hijackings in America in the near future were just too vague to cause any interest in the White House -- and Bush needed to get to those photo-ops Karl Rove had set up for him on the Crawford "Hollywood Set" ranch. So please be understanding. Osama failed to send Bush the above "courtesy" note, and, therefore, Bush and Rice cannot be faulted for their inaction in taking any serious measures to prevent 9/11. If only Osama were a better communicator!

A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION