BuzzFlash Reader Satire
January 12, 2004
CONTRIBUTOR ARCHIVES  
Support BuzzFlash
Get a copy of


BuzzFlash Content

Interviews

P.M. Carpenter

Maureen Farrell

World Media Watch

Barbara's Daily Buzz

Eric Harrison

Thomas Burns

Steven C. Day

The Angry Liberal

Southern Style

Editorials

Contributors

Mailbag

Perspectives

Analysis

News Alerts

Link Archives

Search

About

FAQ

Ralph Peters Redux: Putting Bush Where He Belongs

A BUZZFLASH READER SATIRE
by Lance Sutton

Hi,

In this NY Post article, which was featured on BuzzFlash, Disgusting NY Post Opinion Vomit by Ralph Peters Compares Dean supporters to Nazis. 1/6, I've taken and replaced all references of Howard Dean with George Bush, and of Democratic with Republican.

It just made more sense that way.

Use it if you want!!!

Cheers,

Lance

* * *

January 5, 2004 -- IT'S fashionable in right-wing circles to describe anyone who admires America as a fascist. But the real totalitarian threats of our time come from the right. And no public figure embodies the right's contempt for basic freedoms more perfectly than George Bush.

One secular gospel of the right preaches that the Patriot Act has drastically curtailed American freedom. Free speech, the teacup Trotskys claim, is a thing of the past.

Whenever one of my forlorn rightie pals raises the issue, I ask him or her to cite a single example of how the Patriot Act has limited their personal liberty. They never can. Instead, they rail about what-ifs and slippery slopes.

But George Bush and his Bushie-weenies do all they can to restrict the free speech of others. I can predict with certainty that Bush's Internet Gestapo will pounce on this column, twisting the facts and vilifying the writer, just as they do when anyone challenges George the Coward.

Free speech, you see, is only for the right.

Bush wants to muzzle his Republican competitors, too. He believes the Republican National Committee should shut them up. His followers try to intimidate other presidential aspirants by surrounding the cars delivering them to their rallies and chanting to drown out their speech. Of course, Bush denies any foreknowledge or blame.

These are the techniques employed by Hitler's Brownshirts. Had Goebbels enjoyed access to the internet, he would have used the same swarm tactics as Bush's Flannelshirts.

Then there are Bush's endless "Big Lies": Liberating 25 million Iraqis was "wrong." Saddam's capture doesn't make any difference. Osama bin Laden should be presumed innocent, despite his own admission of responsibility for the 9/11 attacks. Bush knew in advance about the 9/11 attacks. The Global War on Terror is a failure. The economy's a disaster. And the administration is hiding terrible secrets.

Paranoids and conspiracy theorists rejoice! You finally have a candidate of your own.

Of course, when Bush seals his gubernatorial records so Americans can't examine his own back-room deals, that's perfectly legitimate.

In Bush's alternate reality, everything the Dean administration has done and might do is a failure, no matter the facts. The Vermont Governor's even responsible for Mad Cow Disease. It's Goebbels again: Just keep repeating the lies until the lies assume the force of truth.

I met Bush a few times while taping a TV panel show in Montreal. The first time I saw him, chattering on a monitor, I had no idea who he was. I assumed he was some small-time politician on the hustle, Babbitt at the ballot box.

I was stunned to learn he was (then) the governor of one of our 50 states - even if the state was the People's Republic of Texas.

After a few tapings, I declined to continue doing the show. It was a waste of time to travel so far just to spend all the air-time politely explaining why Bush's comments on foreign policy bore no relation to the reality I'd seen with my own eyes.

Bush was already practicing the Big Lie. Montreal was just a stop on his journey from Munich to Berlin. He was already looking around for his Leni Riefenstahl.

Listen to Bush's rhetoric, especially on security and international issues. He never offers specifics; it's all hocus-pocus. He knows how best to deal with terrorists. We voters from the humble Volk need to take it on trust. He understands how to employ our military more effectively - despite dodging the draft during the Vietnam War.

Bush's going to improve our intelligence system, too. How? If pressed, he may go so far as to mention HUMINT - a term he doesn't understand - or the need for more Arabic speakers. Great, Herr Howie. We agree. But how does he intend to develop our human intelligence capabilities?

Which presidential directives and findings would he rescind or issue? Precisely what would he do that isn't being done?

He has no answers. None.

As for the need for more linguists, how would he recruit them, then train and retain them? Does he intend to reinstate the draft?

Bush never deals in specifics on security issues. Because he doesn't know the specifics. It's all Big Brother Doublespeak.

Perhaps it would be easier for those on the right to grasp this column's arguments if we cast the drama with characters closer to their hearts.

Bush began his campaign as an uncompromising Lenin. Now that his Bolsheviks have been organized, he's trying to pose as Gorbachev for the masses. But for anyone who pays attention to what this power-hungry huckster says and does, he comes off as a down-market Brezhnev.

Of course, I don't really see George Bush as a potential dictator - just another hollow man soiling the halls of power. And this is America. Our system is far stronger than any individual. Besides, even the vilest dictators have a vision of something greater than themselves. George Bush has nothing beyond ambition.

And a shameless disregard for the First Amendment.

Ralph Peters is a retired Army intelligence officer and the author of "Beyond Baghdad."

A BUZZFLASH READER SATIRE

BACK TO TOP  

Articles in the BuzzFlash Contributor section are posted as-is. Given the timeliness of some Contributor articles, BuzzFlash cannot verify or guarantee the accuracy of every word. We strive to correct inaccuracies when they are brought to our attention.

 
 
MEDIA WATCH
DAILY BUZZ
P.M. CARPENTER
MAUREEN FARRELL
CARTOONS
ANGRY LIBERAL
INTERVIEWS
SOUTHERN STYLE
CONTRIBUTORS
MAILBAG
EDITORIALS
ANALYSIS
ALERTS
PERSPECTIVES
ABOUT
SEARCH
MEDIA LINKS
HEADLINE ARCHIVES
HEADLINES
EMAIL BUZZFLASH
HELP KEEP BUZZFLASH BUZZ'N!
 

Unless otherwise noted, all original
content and headlines are © BuzzFlash.
Contact BuzzFlash for reprint rights.