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Fear Factor...Homeland Security Christmas Special

A BUZZFLASH READER COMMENTARY
by Barry Baker

President Bush said the government was doing its best to protect the country and advised citizens "to go about their lives." Translation: (Just keep shopping, just keep shopping...Holiday sales are down and the economy needs you!)

"But as they do so, they need to know that governments at all levels are working as hard as we possibly can to protect the American citizens," Bush said in a statement. (If it is that serious a threat, why not go to code Red?...Oh yeah, the shopping thing...stay home and just keep shopping, just keep shopping...)

However, authorities also said the move was based on specific, corroborated intelligence that al-Qaida may soon try to pull off an attack in multiple places to cause mass casualties. (The same reliable intelligence that proved without a doubt that Iraq had a nuclear weapons program and would attack us with their unmanned aerial assault drones...or better, reliable, credible information?)

White House spokesman Scott McClellan said such an attack could eclipse that of Sept. 11, 2001, which left nearly 3,000 people dead. (We don't have specifics other than it will be big...very big...go immediately to the safety of your regional shopping mall and just keep shopping, shopping, shopping.)

U.S. intelligence and law enforcement officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that they did not have any specifics about a potential method, location or time of any attack. They noted that in light of the Sept. 11 attacks, aviation could be a prime possibility. (That's right, and of course anyone who purchased a ticket within the last 10 days or is flying one-way will receive the TSA special full cavity search because we know that suicide pilots will try to save a little cash on airfare. Oh, and in case you had not heard, that is not what they did last time either. It seems that 9 of the 19 9/11 tickets were purchased from the same credit card over 30 days in advance. Something we really couldn't have connected the dots on!)

"We know, tragically, they turned four airplanes into missiles," Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge told reporters after a meeting of President Bush's Homeland Security Council. (Clever wording by tonight's guest host Tom...although, you know it is not like we weren't warned about the 9/11 attack either...but that information was deemed not credible at the time.)

In addition, cargo planes and flights originating overseas were of special concern in the latest warning. (Yes, of course, that's why all cargo going on both cargo and passenger planes today don't receive a full scan and screening. I know I certainly feel better knowing...”that governments at all levels are working as hard as we possibly can to protect the American citizens.” )

To defend against another airborne attack, baggage and passenger screeners are working overtime at airports, and their managers have come out from behind the scenes to work the front lines, the TSA said. (Yes, unwrapping and repacking the Christmas presents you bought in the safety of your local mall and are carrying home to your children while at the same time anyone from anywhere can get an unscreened box into the cargo hold today.)

Barry Baker
Bethel, CT

A BUZZFLASH READER COMMENTARY