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White House Slashes Bush Photo-Op Budget

A BUZZFLASH READER SATIRE
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White House chief of staff, Karl Rove, announced today that the Bush Administration policies will no longer be based strictly on props, banners and photo-ops. The American people want "honest policies, to address the serious issues facing this country," Rove declared. "They also want to win the lottery, and date Brittany Spears."

With the declining effectiveness of stage-managed photo-ops, Rove chose to use the "Neuralizer" from the movie "Men in Black." "We needed the public to forget Bush’s reasons for invading Iraq," Rove explained, "and only the Neuralizer can do that." The Neuralizer is a controversial device which emits a specialized wavelength of light, causing destruction of selected memory cells. The White House Neuralized "almost all Americans" just prior to the capture of Saddam Hussein.

When both Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, agents J and K for the "Men in Black", refused to assist the Bush team, The President was instructed to deputize John Ashcroft and Karl Rove to become agents F and U. Immediately after being deputized, agents F and U enlisted their allies at CNN and FoxNews to replace the missing memories with "pleasantries about establishing democracy in Iraq."

The only casualty anyone can remember from a "Neuralizing overdose" is Joe Lieberman. He stared at the beam so long "his entire backbone melted away." A campaign spokesman confirmed the incident, and stated, "Now Lieberman can’t even sit up, without two or three Republicans holding on to him."

President Bush was pleased with the effects of the Neuralizer on the American public. In an interview with Diane Sawyer, Bush stated "Neuralizer... truth, what’s the difference."

According to White House officials, the total cost for the props, banners and photo-ops is "not quite as much money as we spent in Iraq." Scott McClellan confirmed that the "tax-payer money saved from cutting back on these campaign events," has already been "ear-marked to pay for a special Halliburton offer." For a limited time, the US can buy "12 gallons of gasoline for $400 million, and get a coupon for $10 million off the price of a car wash."

A BUZZFLASH READER SATIRE