Support BuzzFlash Get a copy of click image MORE BuzzFlash INTERVIEWS WORLD MEDIA WATCH P.M. CARPENTER MAUREEN FARRELL BARBARA'S DAILY BUZZ SOUTHERN STYLE CARTOONS THE ANGRY LIBERAL EDITORIALS CONTRIBUTORS MAILBAG PERSPECTIVES ANALYSIS NEWS ALERTS LINK ARCHIVES SEARCH ABOUT FAQ

Message to the Bush Cartel: This Young Man Wants You to Help Him Find a Good Job

BUZZFLASH READER COMMENTARY
by Dave Sutor

Letter to the Bush Administration,

Here is a business proposition for you, Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney, Mr. Rove and the rest of the group.

I am a 29-year-old reporter / writer from Pennsylvania. There is a roof over my head, flannel shirts on my back, pizza in my stomach and strings on my guitar. So, I am not complaining. I know I am better off financially than billions of people across the world. Those individuals work harder than me but still live in shacks and make less money each year than I spend on beer.

However, matters could be better. That is where you can enter the picture.

I am hard working, dependable, and trustworthy ... and whatever other resume cliches you can include. But I am not a self-promoter. It just doesn't come naturally to me. So, I need your help in furthering my career. I need individuals on my side who can show people a circle and manipulate the situation enough to the point where they convince them it’s a square. And you’re the right people to help me.

My God, you're the right people. Just look at your media manipulation accomplishments, including convincing people you are the group most dedicated to national security after many of you proudly served in the Chickenhawk Brigade during your younger days.

Take your most circle-is-a-square work for instance. A group of people highjacked four planes on American soil. They then slammed them into some of the country’s most recognized landmarks. Those individuals turned two of the world’s tallest buildings into corpse-filled piles of twisted metal and concrete. You knew the person who masterminded the attacks, tried to get him "dead or alive" and failed. And despite all of the horror inflicted by Osama bin Laden, your group has actually convinced millions of people that somebody else - Saddam Hussein - is a bigger threat to America than a person who sponsored the killing of over 3,000 people because it suits your goals.

That's amazing. Truly, topnotch information persuasion.

You've also got people so convinced you are doing something significant to protect America that individuals ran out and purchased miles of duct tape because of an orange alert. People are actually convinced this can help if a nuclear bomb hits their city. I salute you, you magnificent bastards. That’s mind-boggling good persuasion.

Now, I don't need the full cutthroat package. Nobody needs to be scared or manipulated enough that they convince themselves young men need to die for oil. I don’t want any bloodshed or lies. I just want people who can manipulate a situation like that working for me as agents to help me find some better work in the writing field.

So, here is the deal.

I will pay you 15 percent of the difference between my new salary at a better job and what I made during 2002 for two years ... unless I leave the job before then. We don't have to like each other. We barely even have to communicate. In fact, matters would work best if this was just basically a business deal with as little contact as necessary. Please feel free to contact me if you are interested.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Dave Sutor

BUZZFLASH READER COMMENTARY