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Top Ten Signs Your Foreign Policy Sucks Wind
BUZZFLASH READER COMMENTARY
by Bob Gaiek
10. A poll conducted in Canada in Dec. 2002 revealed that 38% of the
people feel that you are the biggest threat to world peace. Only 58%
of respondents selected Saddam Hussein. This was reported on and discussed
by Buchanan and Press on MSNBC but, thankfully, never reported by the
corporate media.
9. Democrats are so confused by your foreign policy that many are forced
to run for re-election pictured standing shoulder to shoulder with you
and praising your conduct of the war(s).
8. Your most trusted advisor on foreign matters (she "mothers" you
) has an oil tanker named after her by her former colleagues at Chevron.
This makes it harder to defend your assertion that "it's not about
the oil."
7. Muammar Kaddafi tells Newsweek that he supports world peace and wants
to join you in the war on terrorism. He is your new pal.
6. Fox News complains they are running out of ideas for catchy lower
third screen graphics because there are too many countries we are or
may be at war with.
5. You get no respect around the world. Low level bureaucrats compare
you to Hitler and call you a moron. The state-run Iraqi newspaper calls
you "little Bush" and chides you for waging a "mad campaign." Others
call you cowboy or gunslinger. Iraq really ticks you off so you surround
them with enough firepower to turn all 20 million Iraqi people into "crispy
critters." At least, until they bought
those damn GPS jammers from Radio Shack to screw up your smart bombs.
4. You publicly boast that you "loath Kim Jong-Il" and call
him a "pygmy," after prophetically placing his country in
an imaginary "axis of evil." He ships ballistic missiles to
Yemen under your nose and is seen flipping you the bird just as the satellite
flies over.
3. You blame Clinton and Carter for all your problems with North Korea,
but hardly anyone but Rush Limbaugh and Ollie North believe you or your
claim that "this is not a crisis." You desperately allow a
former Clinton U.N. ambassador to be the chief negotiator with North
Korean diplomats, but you cleverly undercut him by publicly stating that "he
has no power to negotiate."
2. That pesky bastard Senator John McCain questions your manhood in the
Jan. 20, 2002 issue of The Weekly Standard. He chides you and
your Secretary of State for ruling out the use of force -- "a dangerously
shortsighted precedent that even the Clinton administration did not publicly
suggest." That implies you are a wimp, carrying on a well established family tradition.
And, the number one sign that your foreign policy sucks wind is:
1. After campaigning relentlessly to get more Republicans elected based
solely on your ability to wage unending war at home and abroad, Karl
Rove makes you shift the focus to domestic policy -- a policy John DiIulio
exposed as non-existent before his kneecaps were broken. Your only alternative
is to call for another obscene tax cut for your wealthy supporters and
to start screaming "class warfare." Warfare is, after all,
the only thing you are suited for, as long as you manage to avoid ever
having to put your own ass on the line.
Bob Gaiek, Atlanta
BUZZFLASH READER COMMENTARY
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