BuzzFlash presents P.M. Carpenter

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When Bad Campaigns Go Good

by P.M. Carpenter

The surest sign that the 2004 presidential race will be the nastiest ever was the Bush camp's opening smiley-face campaign. The three-spot television blitz carpeting cable networks had all the soft-sell qualities of a Viagra ad, dangling promise and calculated geniality. The ads were supremely positive in tone, but omitted any references to actual problem solving. In short, they made paradoxically clear the Bush campaign has nothing of positive substance to offer.

The longer of the spots -- a 60-second piece titled "Lead" -- was stunning in its coyness. Seated next to an adoring and mostly mum First Lady, the president assured voters that "I know what we need to do to make the world more free and more peaceful ... to make sure every person has a chance at realizing the American dream ... to continue economic growth ... to raise the standards at schools ... [and] to fulfill the promise to America's seniors."

Nice, but puzzling, since at no time did Mr. Bush let us in on what it is he knows, which is how to make the world more free and more peaceful, to make sure every person has a chance at realizing the American dream, to continue economic growth, to raise the standards at schools and to fulfill the promise to America's seniors.

It is customary for politicians in possession of such knowledge to impart it, even if only for their own benefit. Bush, on the other hand, seems to prefer the Music Man's "think system," hoping the whole of America is as gullible as River City, Iowans.

The president did profess in the ad that "as the economy grows, the job base grows." Now there's something you can hang your hat on, except that under his administration the usually true is utterly ahistorical. Employers have weak faith in a deficit-fueled economy, and guardedly have chosen to squeeze more productivity out of existing workers. February's bustling economy, for example, created not one private job. Not one. Each of the roughly 20,000 jobs that were created was a government job. But that's Republicans for you. They just can't resist swelling government payrolls and then calling it economic progress.

Another of the spots -- the 30-second "Safer, Stronger" -- was an odd variation on the Democratic primary season's plea for "Anybody but Bush." This plea was "Blame anybody but Bush." Most problems that America faces, so went the ad, are stubborn ones inherited from you-know-who's tenure, and in viewing "Safer, Stronger" one would think Bush took office just yesterday to address them. September 11 was referenced as "a day of tragedy," but here, no blame was assigned -- not even to Osama bin Laden, whom the administration does remember to mention on rare occasion. Not mentioned at all were two of Bush's major accomplishments: the quagmire in Iraq and a half-trillion-dollar deficit. Go figure.

In some respects the campaign's third ad -- "Tested" -- was the most interesting, in that it negated the campaign's motif of "steady leadership" and highlighted the president's knack for divisiveness. The ad asked, "What sees us through tough times?" Is it, indeed, steady leadership? No. It's "freedom, faith, family and sacrifice." Fair enough and undoubtedly true, yet these are four national attributes the president has striven more to retard than promote. The Patriot Act poses unnecessary threats to civil liberties; faith-based initiatives divide people of faith by catering to the Christian Right; huge job losses, unextended unemployment benefits, massive gaps in health care and reductions in overtime pay all do injury to families; and the president's idea of sacrifice applies to everyone except those who benefit most from traditional American values -- the wealthiest among us.

But let's cut the Bushies some slack. With their record, it's pretty much impossible to run a positive campaign, even by the likes of image-guru Karl Rove. Consequently, and mercifully, the attempt was short-lived. Now Mr. Rove can get on with assassinating reputations and further degrading the political process. Somehow, all is right with the world again.