BuzzFlash presents P.M. Carpenter

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"Mr. Rove, anything else we can do for you?"

by P.M. Carpenter

Oh, how today's Democratic pols make one long for the era of smoke-filled rooms and corrupt bargains. Perhaps the bygone focus leaned a bit too heavy on the equitable distribution of graft and patronage rather than the best nominee, but on the upside, party bosses didn't spend their time writing splendid ads for the Republican National Committee. Times have changed.

In pursuit of the party's highest nomination -- a rather dubious prize in ‘04, you must admit -- Democratic hopefuls are mauling one of their own, along with any hope of a unified, coherent message. Karl Rove can save a bundle on opposition research and focus-grouped lines of attack. Democrats are doing the work for him.

First, they're making sure the primary season is as bloody as possible. That, of course, is not a difficult task for cannibalistic Democrats, especially since this time around there happens to be a front-runner with a knack for making himself an easy target. Both his status and vulnerability stem from the same root: he speaks his mind. Voters like a politician who speaks his mind, hence it's no surprise the mind-speaker happens to be the front-runner as well. But he is saying things both logical and true without much diplomatic adornment, which can be a career-ending liability in the people-metered minefield of politics. (By the way, before you write to skewer me for pimping one candidate or slamming others, let's be clear. I have no dog in this fight. I'm too busy worrying about something the president calls threatening "nucular" programs abroad.)

Most recently the front-runner said America is no safer as a result of Saddam Hussein's capture. Not one whit of evidence exists to substantiate what W. is hyping as a safer-America victory -- indeed, terrorist plots and terrorist acts continue unabated. In fact, the capture was little more than a feel-good moment, a rousing 48-hour news cycle of patriotic delirium costing merely a few hundred American lives, roughly $170 billion, education and health care at home, international respect and goodwill, traditional allies and, apparently, any reasonable expectation that the President of the United States should be honest with the nation.

In a forced twist of logic, however, somewhat-sort-of-pro-war Democratic candidates latched onto the bagging of Saddam as a vindication of their war-resolution votes. Not much of a vindication, but it's the only one they have. They are buying into W's P.R. fantasy only because it's good and available cover.

The behind-runners know that better than anyone, but what the hell. The capture was a perfect moment to denounce the front-runner's loose lips and deficient spine. Anything for a bump in Iowa. That's as superficial as politics gets -- and meat for Rove's Democratic grinder.

The second reason for Mr. Rove's life of ease these days -- the more problematic and fundamental one -- is all too familiar. The Democratic Party has no central message, no theme, no focus. And so much of the primary season's squabbling reveals just that.

Republicans thrive on wondrous simplicity: tax cuts ad nauseam and a testosterone-pumped foreign policy. Even though the executed message guarantees looming American disasters -- dysfunctional government, crushing debt and crippling global alienation -- the electorate opts for the message largely because ... well, there is one. The message is clear. It is comprehensible. It is supremely simple.

Yet Democrats seem to miss the simplicity behind W's success, and have forgotten as well the similar key behind Bill Clinton's earlier success: Everything was the economy. If you asked Bill about foreign policy, global warming, health care, education, crime, Gennifer Flowers or for the time of day, you got the economy.

Important historical note: Bill Clinton won.

Quickly now, name the Democratic message today.

Stumped?

Karl Rove isn't.