BuzzFlash
presents Capitol Buzz
by Anonymous
The Great Memo Caper
Capitol
Buzz: From Capitol Hill to BuzzFlash.com
by
Anonymous
June 19, 2002
Last week Scooby and Shaggy and the Mystery Machine gang were walking through LaFayette Park in front of the White House and what did they find? A clue. A disk, in fact, containing the White House's assessment of where things stand for the 2002 midterm congressional elections. The outlook ain't so good for Republicans, despite the White House cockiness. It's all a pose and Karl Rove would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for the meddling kids who found it.
The first casualty of the Rove memo may be Elizabeth Dole's campaign for North Carolina Senate listed as "possible candidate for Democratic pickup" in the Rove memo. Long thought invincible and inevitable, Dole's candidacy has floundered while former Clinton Chief of Staff, Erskine Bowles, is running a smart and below the radar campaign. Folks I talk to think Dole is the worst campaigner they have ever seen. The singing animatronic dolls on the It's a Small World Ride offer a more varied performance than the robotic Dole on the stump. I mean, her own husband cut a check for McCain's Presidential campaign while she was still in the race. Watch this one.
And whither Lamar Alexander of plaid shirt fame and the original and catchy campaign slogan: "Lamar!" In honor of his race being listed as a "strong chance for Democratic pickup" by Rove, I will punctuate this entire paragraph with exclamation marks! Lamar! You might not make it out of the primary! You might get beat by the House impeachment manager! Neither of you is as good as friend of Al, brainy and disciplined Congressman Bob Clement! You've failed in two Presidential runs! Now for Senate! Lamar! Washed up!
Last on my short list of shockers is Governor Jeb. Listed on the memo as a "possible chance of a Democratic pickup," this has got to be too good to be true. The master of electoral manipulation, the executioner of civil rights laws, and the brother of the "president" in trouble? Not gonna happen. Jeb'll throw away every ballot in the state if that is what it takes to win.
What about the House? With House Democrats within six seats of the Majority, the White House has 25 Republicans in trouble and only 10 Dems. Among the vulnerables are Connie Morella, a Republican who represents a suburban and Democratic area of Maryland. The buzz around here is that Maryland Dems like to vote for her because they think she is a "maverick" and it is "fun" to split their ticket. This "maverick" supports Tom DeLay as Majority Whip. Call any Democrat you know in Maryland and tell them to throw her out.
Don't forget Robin Hayes from North Carolina. He represents a district with farmers and textile workers and still voted to give "President" Bush authority to negotiate trade agreements that would hurt his constituents. After voting the wrong way amid arm twisting from the aforementioned Mr. DeLay, he broke out in tears on the House floor. I'm not kidding –- this guy was bawling. Please send this crybaby home.
The most outrageous part of the memo? Rove listed the number one issue for Republicans as the "war." If this isn't exploitation of the senseless and tragic loss of the victims of 9/11, then I don't know what is. These guys are shameless. My reply: Where is Osama? Why does the CIA say Afghanistan is in worse shape now than before? Their reply: time to go to Iraq. No way they will get away with this.
That's the great memo caper. What did we learn? It is an uphill climb, but Democrats have the best chance of controlling both Houses of Congress that they have had since 1994. It is also beyond any doubt that Rove and company will do anything to win. So, let's sharpen our knives for the fall. And thank Scooby and Shaggy for showing us the light.
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Who am I?
Let me introduce myself. I am a partisan Democrat who has something to say. And as a senior staffer on Capitol Hill, I have a perspective that may be different than the one provided by the mainstream media. But, due to my position, I run the risk of my views being attributed to my employer. So, I offer this anonymously-written weekly column and speak only for myself.
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