Hi there, me here, and it was almost worse than expected there, doggone it. You betcha. (I'm just asking, I really don't know: Is it a common Alaskan colloquial habit to randomly add "here" and "there" -- also "also" -- to sentences?)
We're only a bit over 30 days into the governor's unexpected prance onto the national political stage, and already we're treated to the new, new Palin. Somewhere, Richard Nixon is turning admiringly.
Actually, make that the new, new, new Palin.
The first model was the programmed automaton of artificial intelligence, propped behind a podium. The second was the real thing, which quickly obviated her marketing department's further demonstrations. The third model -- October's model -- is a reprise of the first, which, although it now operates without a teleprompter, still requires batteries.
In other words, all we learned last night was that Sarah Palin is capable of memorizing note cards. OK. She can memorize note cards. I'll grant that. But just as one of Dustin Hoffman's film characters could memorize the New York City phone directory, he couldn't have begun to explain what the directory was actually for, or what the purpose of a phone number is.
It was, repeatedly, that critical second stage of questioning we were denied last night. And for that, credit goes to the McCain camp's debate negotiators. The affair was, in a sense, rigged, permitting Ms. Palin to reel off, every two minutes, another 90 seconds of saccharine, platitudinous pleonasm, and then mentally move on to filing through other note cards.
A typical example: "Let's commit ourselves -- just everyday American people, Joe Six-Pack, hockey moms across the nation -- I think we need to band together and say, 'Never again.' Never will we be exploited and taken advantage of again by those who are managing our money and loaning us these dollars. We need to make sure that we demand from the federal government strict oversight of those entities in charge of our investments and our savings and we need also to not get ourselves in debt."
That, right then, was the logical time for Joe Biden to pause and ask: Just who are "those"? In what specific ways were "they" mismanaging our money? Hey, you brought it up, I'm just asking. What, for example, was leverage's role? Doesn't "debt" fuel this market economy? Wouldn't, let's say, Detroit completely fold without it? What are your thoughts on mortgage-backed securitizations? What was their role, which your boss more than once said was a good and helpful thing for our economy? How did that role evolve? Was it a mindful repudiation of New Deal regulation? -- that is, of the New Deal spirit of regulation, which has had to overcome conservatism's egregious forays into our lives, again and again? Why, oh why, Ms. Palin, did "those" conservatives in the federal government -- your conservatives -- do that to us? Why can't you people ever learn? And why is it we have to pay for your mistakes? Again and again?
Take your time. We'll wait.
But, as we learned, sadly, there was no time allotted for such follow-ups. Joe Biden, of course, could have fielded like questions, sans note cards. He could casually do it while showering, and probably does. Sarah Palin, on the other hand, would have frozen -- like a moose in the headlights, like Katie Couric's facial reactions to Sarah's stumblings, like today's credit markets.
To me, the most revealing and therefore tawdriest moment came within Palin's first few minutes, in which she proudly announced that she was not, in fact, going to answer any questions. "And I may not answer the questions the way that either the moderator or you want to hear, but I'm going to talk straight to the American people and let them know my track record also." Translation: You're in for 90-second speeches often wholly unrelated to any matter before us. But hey, they're all I've got.
Their Pavlovian nature was, however, entertaining. I'll give them that much. Did she hear "Iran"? Ding-ding-ding. She's got an answer for ya, you betcha. Climate change? Ding-ding-ding. She's got another. Health care? Ding-ding-ding.
I don't know that I had ever witnessed such a mechanical hemorrhaging of conditioned behavior. I realize that these "debaters" must commit to memory and then hustle their talking points, but generally there's some independent knowledge behind that talk and beneath those points.
In short, they usually understand what they're saying, and, if pressed, can drill, baby, drill at least a little deeper. Palin's performance belied that capability -- and her forewarning about not answering questions only served to spotlight the shallowness.
She also served notice that we'd hear no more of a Sarah Palin unscripted: "I like being able to answer these tough questions without the filter, even, of the mainstream media kind of telling viewers what they've just heard. I'd rather be able to just speak to the American people like we just did."
But just prior to that came eight little words that were, perhaps, regretfully unscripted -- and possibly haunting: "And I would like more opportunity for this."
Bingo. There's Sen Biden's post-debate mantra to dominate the 24-hour post-debate media cycle. Let's have another. Let's sit down, throw away the notes and take off the gloves and go at it again. Gov. Palin herself suggested another "opportunity" for just that. So let's do it.
And then watch the backpedaling.
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